things on my mind:
1. i need to see more of the world
2. i need to figure out how to do that
3. i need to grow up
4. there's way more possibilities than i ever thought
5. this is my life after all.

get out of my head...

"I take a step back, let you go
I told you I'm not bulletproof
Now you know"

-taylor swift

"Anyone can say the love someone....It's loving someone enough to let them go that will prove that love."

i want to be free from everything.

I can't wait forever is all that you said
Before you stood up
And you won't disappoint me
I can do that myself
But I'm glad that you've come
Now if you don't mind

Leave, leave,
And free yourself at the same time
Leave, leave,
I don't understand, you've already gone

I hope you feel better
Now that it's out
What took you so long
And the truth has a habit
Of falling outta your mouth
Well now that it's come
If you don't mind

Leave, leave,
And please yourself at the same time
Leave, leave,
Let go of my hand
You said what you came to now
Leave, leave,
Let go of my hand
You said what you had to now
Leave, leave,
Leave, leave,
Let go of my hand
You said what you have to now

Leave, leave...

my mind wont stop going...

i want a room like this someday...

Good Things Happen

Good Things Happen- Dierks Bently

"The world is cold but I don't care
When you have flowers in you hair
I see color and I hear sound
And good things happen when you're around

I work hard for not much pay
So I can know you'll be okay
'Cause I need to live where love abounds
And good things happen when you're around

So won't you wait for me
I'll be home soon
Wait for me
I'll only be a day or two

Won't you wait for me
I'll be home soon
Wait for me
I'll only be a day or two

The world is cold but I don't care
When you have flowers in your hair
I see color and I hear sound
And good things happen when you're around
Good things happen when you're around"

Things I Wish...

1. i wish i would have practiced not showering because this is ridiculous...being good at being dirty would have been great by now.
2. i wish i knew where that damn cockroach went that i half killed...it will probably haunt me.
3. i wish i was better with my words
4. i wish i had more control of my mind
5. i wish i was a musician
6. i wish fear was not a part of me
7. i wish i had a super power
8. i wish life was a little more like math...so i could figure it out
9. i wish i understood what you were thinking
10. i wish i could speak my mind
11. i wish i had a little more substance to me
12. i wish i had never cheated on anything in my life
13. i wish i wouldnt have given my heart away so many times
14. i wish i could really wish upon a star
15. i wish traveling by air didnt involve really large scary metal things
16. i wish i knew what i wanted to do for the rest of my life
17. i wish there wasnt a label or definition for everything in life
18. i wish my eyes were a camera...and my mind had film in it
19. i wish that just hanging on was not an option
20. i wish i didnt have a list of things i wish i didnt do
21. i wish my eye would stop twitching
22. i wish i spoke more languages
23. i wish you would never hurt
24. i wish smiles were permanent and there was no sadness
25. i wish osmosis worked with books
26. i wish i could fix things
27. i wish i took more baths
28. i wish i liked red wine more
29. i wish i was more adventurous
30. i wish the world was a big coffee shop
31. i wish sprite commercials were true
32. i wish i could sleep on my own
33. i wish people just understood
34. i wish that i could change these dark months
35. i wish i could take things back
36. i wish nica and the ppines were closer...much closer
37. i wish i never would have been made at you aud...it was a waste of time
38. i wish that we wouldnt have to learn the hard way
39. i wish i always had the perfect song for the perfect moment
40. i wish that there was some seriousness about world peace
41. i wish that i didnt have instant replay in my head...i think
42. i wish pictures came with a thousand words
43. i wish i had more skin so i could have more tattoos
44. i wish people didnt look down on you for having tattoos
45. i wish i could write a book
46. i wish that not sleeping wasnt always such a bad thing for you
47. i wish that fortune cookies tasted better
48. i wish bugs wouldnt bite
49. i wish that i could be the person i see
50. i wish...

and i do mean happy...

from nutty.

late

theres something about being up...

its currently only 1:15....but its different than 10 or 11. its not the number of hours you have been up or the hours till you wake up. its being here. now. its hard to explain. i think part of it is being along. yes. alone. as for me. i feel that enough. but this is a different kind of along. its a good alone. you do what you want. and you don't keep anyone up or hold anyone up or let anyone down. its just you. you control your thoughts and actions. for me creativity can come about at these hours....but those are the pages in the journal i dont re read often. but they are there. and i am glad they are. yeah my eyes get heavy. but maybe that is my choice of pandora station. city and colour this time of night could be the end of me. but that is ok. whenever my head goes down. i wont fight it. its beautiful that way. yeah there is beauty in how you fall asleep. the shape your body takes...the thoughts you have, the speed your eyes move at. its human in rare form. and its a quite enjoyable from. and this is then followed by dreams. i love the idea of dreams....but not all the dreams. just the opportunity and ability. there is beauty in so much...why dont we see it more often?

what can i do?

"Well ... I think you do know it.

Scarily, I think we both know it, but there's really nothing to do about it.

It's strange. You're probably one of my three closest friends here, definately the one that I connect with on more things than anyone else. I know how impossible a relationship between us would be - how it would very likely sour our friendship, how all of our other friends would disapprove, how is just a bad idea.

It's been a while since I realized how beautiful you are. How, when you tilt your head to read something on the screen, your face is positioned so that you look like a sculpture. How your little black geek glasses and "punk ethic" are some of the most beautiful things about you.

I always think I'm over it, that my reason has finally caught up with me. And, in a way, it has. I know that I will never do anything about this.

However, I also can't seem to completely rid myself of it. Sometimes, when I'm hanging out with everyone, I'll look at you laughing at some stupid joke, and my heart hurts.

Eternal crush, maybe ... what can I do?"

-http://everything2.com/title/You+wouldn%2527t+know+it%252C+but+I+think+you%2527re+achingly+beautiful

Sometimes its 4 a.m.

"Sometimes it's 4am, and my body's still working but my brain shuts down
This is so annoying because I could be doing something but I'm not
Sometimes it's 4am, and my brain's still working, but my body shuts down
This is so annoying because I want to do something but I can't

Sometimes it's 4am, and I just wish this project was over already
It's taken so much time, but the end never seems any closer
Sometimes it's 4am, and I start to get depressed
You really have to wonder whether it's all worth it

Sometimes it's 4am, and I'm emailing lecturers
There's this one great lady who actually sometimes replies within a few minutes
Sometimes it's 4am, and I have to nail a bug before I can sleep
It's generally these nights when I don't sleep at all

Sometimes it's 4am, and Basshunter just isn't loud enough
In the stillness of night, everyone else is asleep
Sometimes it's 4am, and I wish you were here beside me
Alone with my code, the world gets even more lonely"

-http://everything2.com/title/Sometimes+it%2527s+4+a.m.

i actually do:

i read fortunes from fortune cookies...and they usually make perfect sense in my life

i read my horoscope...and usually find them encouraging. i cut the last one out. its in my journal.

i listen to lyrics like i wrote them....or my best friend did.

i dream like they will all come true. and maybe someday. they will.

Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.

- Randall G Leighton


As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your heart broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you've never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone's hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.

- Unknown


The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

- Unknown

from undernier