theres something about being up...

its currently only 1:15....but its different than 10 or 11. its not the number of hours you have been up or the hours till you wake up. its being here. now. its hard to explain. i think part of it is being along. yes. alone. as for me. i feel that enough. but this is a different kind of along. its a good alone. you do what you want. and you don't keep anyone up or hold anyone up or let anyone down. its just you. you control your thoughts and actions. for me creativity can come about at these hours....but those are the pages in the journal i dont re read often. but they are there. and i am glad they are. yeah my eyes get heavy. but maybe that is my choice of pandora station. city and colour this time of night could be the end of me. but that is ok. whenever my head goes down. i wont fight it. its beautiful that way. yeah there is beauty in how you fall asleep. the shape your body takes...the thoughts you have, the speed your eyes move at. its human in rare form. and its a quite enjoyable from. and this is then followed by dreams. i love the idea of dreams....but not all the dreams. just the opportunity and ability. there is beauty in so much...why dont we see it more often?